This is Temporary
Hi friends.
We are all in uncharted territory and the world is undergoing a profound shift. My good friend keeps telling me that this is a marathon, not a race, so slow down girl!
I sprinted hard at first, hit a brick wall, and now am slowly settling into a pace that is more manageable. For now. Oxygen will definitely be our friend through this!
It seems we are all waiting for what is next at the edge of our seats with a sense of dread at what is to come in the next hour, day, week, or month. I have received several DM’s asking, “How are you holding up?”, “Where are you in the world?”, “Why Nashville?” First of all, thank you for reaching out. Community is everything right now and each and every comment lifts my spirit up and out of the fog.
Like many of you, I have been in a news coma and it hasn’t been easy to adjust to all of the things rapidly changing every day during this pandemic. So, I thought I would write y’all a little note about my whereabouts and how I am coping along with some resources that are useful for me. I will continue to update the list, so check back from time to time if you find it helpful today.
My transition to Nashville
I had planned to spend time this winter and spring setting up our second studio location for Thatch in Nashville. Nashville is an hour and a half away from my parents’ 5th generation farm in a rural town called Princeton, KY. Well, 6th generation if you count myself and my three siblings. My mom grows an incredible amount of flowers at Meadowview Flowers. She has created a beautiful flower farm oasis. She sells to florists, does a flower CSA for her community, and does floral design for weddings. My dad grows varieties of tobacco, corn, soybeans, alfalfa, wheat, and has cattle. I’ve been helping start seeds, feed sick little calves, running farm errands, and checking on pregnant cows on the farm. Since farming is essential, it hasn’t slowed down much here for my family. Babies are still being born and everything is growing fast!
My decision to open up a second location and live bicoastally has everything to do with my longing to be closer physically to my family. Time and proximity to them has become more important as I have gotten older. I love the South and the PNW equally and for vastly different reasons. My community thrives in both places and I desire ample amounts of time in both regions. In my search for the next Thatch home, I was lucky enough to secure a studio space in Nashville almost instantly. Gotta love Nashville hospitality!
As for our Thatch 2020 wedding season, most events have been postponed, and not canceled which is a relief. We are currently booking for the Fall but not taking our regular full deposit amount. We are trying to be as accommodating and flexible as we can be to help couples making tentative plans given the current global pandemic. My heart goes out to the 2020 couples. We will celebrate your love someday, I promise.
I arrived at my parent’s farm and was starting to look for places to live in Nashville when a devastating tornado hit Nashville and then soon after, Covid-19 started to spread. I have since decided to stay at the farm to be useful to my family and the community that I grew up with. I am grateful and recognize that I am blessed to be surrounded by a support system during this time. Moving during a Stay at Home Order would be beyond complicated and being with family during this uncertain time on familiar land that we can grow healthy food is a gift.
My slice of Kentucky is a village of folks I know by name.
Think country roads, wide open country, woodlands stretching for hundreds of acres, red clay banks and limestone creeks, lakes that look like scenes straight out of the Netflix show Ozark ( I am hooked), and plenty of good ol’ southern cooking and Kentucky BBQ.
Darlin’, Ma’am, Sir, Baby, Honey and Sugar are all common terms of address.
So how am I dealing in this new landscape? My experience seems to be echoed by my friends across the country. I can’t help but devour articles until I understand and grasp our new reality. I went hard and fast into accumulating knowledge. For the past few weeks, I have lost lots of sleep due to reading countless articles and listening to podcasts about the virus itself and the impact of its wake. Like many, I am filled with sadness on so many levels.
Sad for the collective suffering we are all going through, sad for the loss of life, sad for the anticipatory sufferings and losses that are to come.
So many brave workers are sacrificing so much to keep us safe. THANK YOU. We see you. Endless GRATITUDE to you and your families.
Last week, the crushing reality hit hard of what humanity was up against and all I could do was weep. I walked around teary eyed holding these losses and holding my own personal loss as I watched months and months of my own business slipping through my fingers for the temporary unknowable future. Just like so many of us out there in service industries, no gatherings = no work as we have known it = no income.
My counselor and family encouraged me to limit my news consumption and take a break. During times of major adjustment, it is well understood that we are not able to be our best selves. We can easily be knocked off balance and that looks different for everyone. Thankfully, the kindness and empathy of others can bring us back to our center.
I truly believe that empathy is the way to get through this. We need deep community during this time of isolation. I like the idea of stockpiling compassion for ourselves and for those around us that are suffering and adjusting.
So what is helping you get through this time?
So far, a combination of these things are helping soothe my limbic system and I am regaining my calm amidst the storm.
Do I do these things everyday? No. Do I try to do a few of them? Yes. Do I still have really hard days. Fo sho. I am convinced that this is normal.
Our emotions will ebb and flow with the waves of grief. Some days will be more productive than others. I am writing this out for me to remember how to keep myself healthy during this time and also hoping it be helpful to some of you all out there too. It is sometimes the simple, common sense reminders that I need to get me back on track when I am feeling funky.
I’ve been practicing self-care through…
working with my fear and anxiety and meditating
morning pages
singing
dancing
stretching and foam rolling (mostly at night)
working with herbs and nutrition to boost my immunity and calm my nervous system
focusing on ways to give back by offering herbalism consults to my broader community
doing what I can to sanitize the shit out of our home daily
going for nature hikes and listening to sounds of life
bike rides
making themed playlists
spiritual rituals such as Bibliomancy
playing with my dog
cooking for my family
gathering wild foods
prioritizing friend connections via FaceTime
watching the sunsets
putting on real clothes (not every day though)
watching TV (ahem Tiger King is amusing to say the least)
reading
practicing some good old fashioned sleep hygiene
Resources
Learn how you can prevent getting sick and prevent spreading the disease to flatten the curve to protect health care workers and save lives. I check with the CDC often since new data is emerging.
Join an online small business coaching group such as The Brink led by Dr. Alysondra Duke. I am a member and would love to see your face each week!
The practice of saying five words that bring you calm. Mine are: Joy, Peace, Health, Ease, and Gratitude. Saying them outloud when times get rough does help.
Join a virtual dance party with Dance Church I used to go to these sweaty dance parties (not-religiously affiliated despite the name) in Capitol Hill, Seattle. They are so fun, and are a serious workout!
My current spotify April playlist for chillin’ at home and working on the computer.
Feelings and needs hand out from NVC, if you are having trouble with communication you can state your feeling first and then your need and invite the same for the other person.
“That Discomfort You’re Feeling is Grief” published by the Harvard Business Review names the collective and anticipatory grief we are all trudging through and how to balance our fears. Naming our emotions allows us to sit with them and move through us.
Free Ivy League courses you can take online during this time
Tapping and manifesting with Gala Darling , she is a trip and constantly entertaining
Free yoga app with DownDog
SWEAT app for working out and tracking workouts. Most of the stuff you probably have at home or can easily improvise.
Free meditation app with Balance
Binaural Beats for relaxation (puts me to sleep)
Info on the virus and current hopeful treatment research Dr. Tyna Moore & Dr. Katelyn Kalstien
RAIN method for balancing fearful thoughts by Tara Brach, shifting the narrative in the brain is key
Breathwork with Wim Hof
Helpful emotional support quotes Lisa Olivera Therapy
Comic relief and news The Daily Show with Trevor Noah
Words from Glennon Doyle author of “Untamed”, Rupi Kaur, Elizabeth Gilbert author of “Big Magic”, and of course Brene Brown- what would we do without you!
Podcasts from Tara Brach , especially “Facing Pandemic Fears with an Awake Heart”
One thing that is giving me hope is that this quarantine time is temporary.
we don’t know how long it will be, but it will surely eventually pass.
We will gather again.
What is working for you to ease your stress and keep you company?
Please let me know you were here and share in the comments!
Sending love and Light your way, hang in there, stay home, and stay healthy.
We will get through this!
XO
SaraJane